My father’s friend died too
When I heard the news that a dear relative and friend of my father’s, who incidentally shares my father’s birthday, died last week, I was reminded of a famous Malayalam poem “Innu jyan, naale nee”, meaning “Today it is me, tomorrow it will be you”. In the poem, the poet, who is also the protagonist, happens to see a funeral cortege passing by. He notices that the head of the dead body is moving from side to side. On looking closely, the poet imagines that the head is telling him, “If today it is my turn, tomorrow it will be yours”. This is the theme of the beautiful poem, which has a lot more in it than these opening lines.
Is it not hauntingly true?
This friend had visited us a couple of months back to mourn the death of my father and had spoken nostalgically about many a moments they had spent together in their youth: playing cricket, traveling, studying and watching movies. He was very disturbed and said he did not expect him to die so young and so unexpectedly.
Young and unexpectedly? In our present age and times, 64 may be regarded as young. However, does death discriminate based on age, caste, creed, wealth, goodness, education, position, clout, beauty and so on? Anyway, now this uncle too has died at the age of 64 and his death was very sudden. He was actively taking part in the annual temple festivities of his hometown when he collapsed and had a cardiac arrest. Now it is our turn to console the bereaved family. Role reversal!
I spoke to this uncle’s son yesterday. Although he was very upset, being the brave man he is, he put it philosophically as “It is inevitable and whatever has to happen will happen, etc;” I secretly thought, the intensity might indeed reduce with the passage of time but the numbing reminder of loss will remain as long as one who has lost a dear one remains. Moreover, although sad but true, the sense of loss will compound as days, months and years pass by, for there are so many little things to remind us of a person who was with us until a breath earlier and never again for eternity. However, I did not tell him that.
I told him, “Yes, this too shall pass”.
When I heard the news that a dear relative and friend of my father’s, who incidentally shares my father’s birthday, died last week, I was reminded of a famous Malayalam poem “Innu jyan, naale nee”, meaning “Today it is me, tomorrow it will be you”. In the poem, the poet, who is also the protagonist, happens to see a funeral cortege passing by. He notices that the head of the dead body is moving from side to side. On looking closely, the poet imagines that the head is telling him, “If today it is my turn, tomorrow it will be yours”. This is the theme of the beautiful poem, which has a lot more in it than these opening lines.
Is it not hauntingly true?
This friend had visited us a couple of months back to mourn the death of my father and had spoken nostalgically about many a moments they had spent together in their youth: playing cricket, traveling, studying and watching movies. He was very disturbed and said he did not expect him to die so young and so unexpectedly.
Young and unexpectedly? In our present age and times, 64 may be regarded as young. However, does death discriminate based on age, caste, creed, wealth, goodness, education, position, clout, beauty and so on? Anyway, now this uncle too has died at the age of 64 and his death was very sudden. He was actively taking part in the annual temple festivities of his hometown when he collapsed and had a cardiac arrest. Now it is our turn to console the bereaved family. Role reversal!
I spoke to this uncle’s son yesterday. Although he was very upset, being the brave man he is, he put it philosophically as “It is inevitable and whatever has to happen will happen, etc;” I secretly thought, the intensity might indeed reduce with the passage of time but the numbing reminder of loss will remain as long as one who has lost a dear one remains. Moreover, although sad but true, the sense of loss will compound as days, months and years pass by, for there are so many little things to remind us of a person who was with us until a breath earlier and never again for eternity. However, I did not tell him that.
I told him, “Yes, this too shall pass”.
posted by Gayathri Varma @ 3:25 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
When my periappa died ,i encountered death of someone very close to me for the first time. it was a numbing feeling. Though i did not cry much on the day of death, the next day morning when we woke to start to his house, tears automatically came to my eyes. Its now nearly more than a decade since he passed away. But we were recollecting his death anniversaries only for 2 or 3 years. We used to be reminded about him as long as my aunt used to hang her photo in our house. But now we rarely talk about him.It may be because we never conducted rituals of remembering dear ones who passed away .
Hi,
how is you? we had a looong new yr weekend (partying)out here and am back now with loads of new year resolutions):
happy new year my dear friend...may u have a wonderful year ahead.
Btw, this post of yours is very touching. that malayalam poem is so haunting and nostalgic for me, since i remember my ammumma reciting it.
yes, death is the only truth in life, the rest is merely an illusion.
take care and do write in ur blog more often!
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