Thursday, March 05, 2009

A thought provoking conversation from the Mahabharatha

CONTEXT – Lord Yama wishes to test His son Yudhisthara’s knowledge and so he disguises Himself as a bird and questions Yudhisthara thus; needless to say, Lord Yama was greatly impressed by his son’s wisdom.

Q. 1. What saves man during the time of crisis?
Ans. His courage

Q. 2. In this world, where is the greatest sacrifice found?
Ans. In the heart of a mother

Q. 3. Who is mightier than the sky?
Ans. Father

Q. 4. What is faster than the wind?
Ans. The human mind

Q. 5. Who or what is Man’s greatest friend?
Ans. His knowledge

Q. 6. In the journey after death, what is man’s greatest solace?
Ans. His Dharma

Q. 7. What is the true source of joy in this world?
Ans. Living with a clear conscience

Q. 8. What is equivalent to suicide?
Ans. Boasting or self appraisal

Q. 9. What should a man give up to become perfect?
Ans. His ego

Q. 10. Who is the greatest sinner?
Ans. One who deceives his conscience

Q. 11. Who or what are man’s greatest enemies?
Ans. Greed and Anger

Q. 12. Who is the most fortunate person?
Ans. One who has the perfect soul mate

Q. 13. Who is the wealthiest person?
Ans. One who is not greedy for wealth

Q. 14. What is the greatest wonder in this world?
Ans. The fact that man can survive oblivious to death, which can happen anytime anywhere.

Q. 15. What is the sign of greatness?
Ans. Samabhavana or seeing everyone as equal

Q. 16. What should man give up to attain total bliss?
Ans. Anger

Q. 17. Where is the abode of God?
Ans. In the heart of a devotee

Q. 18. Who is the most ordinary human being?
Ans. One who pretends to be the best

Q. 19. What is God’s light?
Ans. The light of love

Q. 20. What is the eternal truth in this Universe?
Ans. Death

A providential escape

On Shivarathri day while I was returning from the temple, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, a motorbike rushed towards me and hit my left hand and threw me to the side of the road. All this happened in a split second and I was totally caught unawares. But fortunately for me, I had the most providential escape ever and I lived to tell the tale. A lot of people gathered around and an old couple shouted and screamed at the teenage rider and his even younger friend, the pillion rider. I was too shocked to say anything to them, but to be very frank, my shock was at having escaped unhurt (except for a minor sprain in my left hand) considering the magnitude of the hit and at ‘what all could have happened...’ I was still shaking when I recounted it to my family and I am even now when I think of all the bizarre fatalities of the accident. I realize more than ever the great kindness of the Almighty and also at the helplessness of human beings. One moment we are hale and hearty and the next…?

We are at the constant mercy of our Creator, but sadly most of us do not realize it and hence succumb to our petty egos and eventually lead a life inflated with greed, pride and selfishness.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Universal Prayer to herald the New Year

Here is a simple prayer, a favourite of mine that contains in it the age old glory, wisdom, enduring beauty and imperishable strength of the Indian culture. The prayer becomes most relevant today at the time of acute conflicts: religious, social, cultural and familial. This coming year, let this prayer resonate across all countries, religions and people; unifying one and all towards a common pursuit of peace, love, wisdom and harmony.

Asathoma Sadgamaya
lead me from ignorance to knowledge
Thamasoma Jyothirgamaya
lead me from darkness to light
Mrithyorma Amruthangamaya
lead me from death to immortality
Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi
let there be peace, peace and more peace

Happy new year to all!

Life skills learned from the babies university!

Recently a friend asked me, “Won’t this one year break from work affect your experience/work graph?” I spontaneously replied, “No, it won’t, I am learning important life skills that would only compliment my other skills and equip me to handle situations better when I get back to work.”

Later, upon reflecting on the question and my answer, I realize that the skills a mother acquires from managing and raising her toddler by far exceeds any management skills that can be learned from any and all the reputed management institutes put together.

With the baby, one needs to be a crisis manager, a human resource manager, a conflict manager, an event manager, and a disaster manager to name a few; also an actor, singer, dancer, comedian all rolled into one. Here is how:

1. When the baby simply refuses to open its mouth and swallow even a tiny morsel of food, one has to be really creative and invent techniques and methodologies to make the baby eat.
2. When the baby has excreted all over the place and is literally floating or playing on it with bits and pieces on its face, sometimes perilously close to its mouth, one has to execute exemplary crisis management skills to tide over the mess.
3. When the baby is howling non stop at 2 AM for no obvious reasons and often for two to there hours at a stretch, one has to exhibit crucial conflict management skills to emerge from the situation with one’s sanity intact.
4. When the baby has pushed some crazy object into its nostril, one has to be good at ‘what not’ to pull that object out without injuring the baby.
5. When the baby has urinated over some important papers, broken your precious crockery, swallowed some object and is gasping for breath and so on and forth, one has to exhibit all the above mentioned managerial skills put together to recover from the situation.

These are just basic examples. With kids, one has to constantly be excellent at multi tasking, think out of the box and be as innovative as possible. These are skills one cannot acquire at a college or at a Fortune 500 company but those that can be perfected only from being a parent, specifically a mother. Children teach us humility, patience, creativity and a lot more every moment, no wonder it is rightly said, The child is the father of man!

Friday, July 25, 2008

The Second Gift

When I had my daughter almost six and a half years ago, I thought this is it, no more children for me. I thought I just wouldn’t be able to go through the rigours of pregnancy, child birth and post natal chores again. We seemed content enough with a single child until maybe two years ago when thoughts of our child growing up to be a selfish, spoilt kid started gnawing at our minds. Apart from this, thoughts of depriving her from a sibling to share her life with also started making its presence felt. But on the other side, I was enjoying a successful career, which I knew would come to an abrupt pause with the birth of another child and one that would take a couple of years to blossom again.
Thus went our deliberations……finally, the huge positive difference my brother has made in my life and contine to do so and also the love my husband shares with his sister won the arguement in favour of us taking the monumental (only in the present times, during the times of our grandparents, it was hardly a bother when each couple used to have a minimum of ten children) decision of having another child.

My son, Uday, was born on May 19th, 2008. By the grace of God, it was a perfectly normal delivery and I am back to my old self (thankfully with no weight gain at all!). He is such a bundle of joy; besides, my daughter has matured overnight from being a pampered kid to a responsible, caring, sensible person. I know its too early for me to come to any conclusions; neverthless, as I revel in my daughter doting on her little brother, I thank my Maker for having motivated us to go in for a second child.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Up in Smoke

My mother gets paranoid when she sees a youngster smoking. She starts lamenting about how pathetic it is that the youngster fails to understand the implications of cigarette smoke in his/her life and so on and so forth. She just cannot contain her sorrow.

I guess this strange sympathy towards all smokers of this world (especially the young ones) is a result of the aggressive, incessant chain smoking of her husband’s that she had to endure ever since she got married. Hailing from a family of total non smokers - I doubt if her father or brother or other close male members of her family had ever touched a cigarette in their lives – it must have been a brutal shock for her young, tender heart to encounter a smoker such as my father. But since a lot of other attributes such as an impeccable family lineage, good education, fine character etc; favoured the alliance, the fact that he was a smoker hardly mattered at the time. Besides, most men of Kerala belonging to my father’s generation (especially those from upper caste, affluent families) were regarded intellectuals (and communists) for whom smoking and burying themselves in books were considered most normal.

Also at the time, I guess my mother was most oblivious to the enormous implications my father’s smoking would have on her life. Ever since she got married, my mother patiently and sometimes exasperatingly tried to convince my father to give up his habit. She persisted with her entreaties for 34 years, until a few months before my father’s death.

By the way, my father started smoking at the age of 19 when he was in engineering college and since then for many years, he smoked one of the strongest brands, Charminar. He preferred an unfiltered cigarette and he would smoke a minimum of 2 to 3 packets a day. He remained loyal to Charminar until they finally stopped producing it. My mother was slightly relieved then, for my father was forced to switch over to some filtered brand ever since. By then, you see, my mother had researched important details of most cigarette brands of the time.

Fortunately for my mother, my brother who grew up listening to all this fuss surrounding smoking never ever touched a cigarette so far in his life and I don’t think he ever will. He must have developed a thorough hatred for it. Surprisingly, it never affected me much and when my parents were seeking alliance for me, I never ever made it a condition that the person I marry should be a non smoker. As long as the guy didn't blow smoke rings into my face, I had no problem. This thrilled my father and irritated my mother beyond words. She vowed that she would marry me off only to a guy who had nothing to do with her arch rival, cigarettes. Again God was kind to her and gave her the kind of son-in-law any parents would dream of and well, he is a total non smoker!

My father’s tryst with his muse continued through his deteriorating health, age, job changes, transfers to different cities etc; He smoked non stop, disregarding advice from physicians, family and friends. Finally, at the age of 63, he was diagnosed with terminal lung and kidney cancer, the news of which he imbibed most unflinchingly. I am not exaggerating when I say he did not even batter an eye lid when the doctor told him he had just a few months to live.He continued to smoke until one day the cigarette, his most trusted companion of so many years betrayed him. His terminal cough prevented him from taking even a single puff. That was when he conceded it. How ironic that it was the cigarette that finally abandoned him and not vice versa!

At times a few scenes from the past flash before my eyes, my mother childishly showing my father some gory pictures or articles of people who had succumbed to various cancers owing to smoking. My father would not even bother to glance at those and he would casually dismiss my mother with, ‘So what? At least they enjoyed their lives while it lasted.”

In my father’s case, this is true. He enjoyed his life and died an extremely peaceful death just two months after the lethal diagnosis. He never had to undergo the painful treatment, which he himself refused and he never had any food restrictions either. He was admitted to the hospital just a day before his death and was not hooked to the ventilator or any such devices. He was lucky to have lived and died the way he desired, defying all bizarre predictions of a terrible death resulting from his smoking.

But my mother continues to grieve and pray for all the smokers of this world.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Of nostalgia and more…

This is weird…these days I seem to be plunging deeper and deeper into nostalgia with an aching longing for the ‘simple good old things in life.’

And the figure at the nucleus of my nostalgia is my maternal grandmother, who at the age of ninety is now the grand old family head of a traditional aristocratic family in Kerala. She is a woman who has survived a lot of triumphs and tragedies, glory and despair in her life. She had always been a source of support and strength not just to her family but to everyone who came in contact with her. She always maintained her composure and wit, and her unwavering faith in the Almighty helped her tide through some of the darkest moments in her life. She lived through her doting first grandson’s tragic death at the prime age of 28, subsequently passing on courage and faith to her heartbroken daughter and bringing her back to normalcy.

Although she attended formal school only till class four, she educated herself at home and became extremely well-versed in Malayalam and Sanskrit and to some extent in Tamil and Hindi. She also attempted English to quench her undying thirst for knowledge. She was a very good Veena player and had many students under her tutelage. She has authored various songs, poems and prose (mostly unpublished) and translated some of Kalidasa’s work in Sanskrit to Malayalam. One of her translations was part of the BA Malayalam syllabus in Kerala University for a long time. She was instrumental in introducing her children to the fascinating world of literature and poetry.

Whenever people from the world of movies or literature has any doubts regarding the painter Raja Ravi Varma (who is incidentally one of her great grand uncles) or any other facts regarding the history of the state etc; my grandmother is the most important point of contact. Even at this age, she fully retains her sharp memory, knowledge and humour. It is amazing to hear her recite poems, quote passages and historic facts so crisply and correctly.

She not only brought up her four children well by stubbornly ensuring that they received a good formal education (sometimes against a lot of odds) and were married into decent families but was also closely involved in bringing up her grandchildren too.
I have beautiful memories of snuggling close to her and listening to her read out passages from different literary works and poems (most of which I never understood at the time, but just listening to her voice was music). She was a master storyteller too. It was a routine for the children of the family to crowd around her and listen in bated breath to her grand stories from the Puranas (the Hindu epics) and others.

There is so much more to write about her, which can never be captured in a blog. She is an institution in herself and with her passing, a beautiful era will come to an end.

Today, I do not long for the glitter and glamour of city or corporate life, meals in a fancy restaurant or shopping from designer stores but I long to return to my grandmother’s ancestral home in a remote corner of Kerala and live an uncomplicated, hassle-free, pollution-free existence with her grand stories and comforting presence for company.

I know this dream will never be mine to posses because my grandmother has long been uprooted from her ancestral home, which has now reduced to a dilapidated palace visited rarely by curious travellers, students of history and movie crew. Now, in the place there are just echoes of a glorious, literally rich past gone by......one that can never be filled with real beloved voices again.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

In Nature's Lap

There is so much within me bursting to erode into a torrent of words and yet…I procrastinate…I shy away from writing.
Anyway, here is a meek attempt, being fresh from a wonderful trip I had with family in green, verdant, gorgeous Kodaikanal.
We stayed in an utterly picturesque resort called Villa Retreat right next to Coaker’s Walk in Kodaikanal. The view of the town (and what lies way beyond it) from the green dewy lawns of the resort is mind numbingly beautiful and an ‘out of the world’ experience. I would stare at the view for long hours to soak in all that beauty and permanently store it in my mind’s eye (my conscious) with the intent of retrieving it as and when my eyes tire of concrete structures, dust, pollution and crowd.
During our stay at the resort, we travelled to a thinly populated, remote village called Manamannoor, roughly about 35 kms from Kodaikanal. The drive to the place is beautiful and en route we stopped at the pine forest and gleefully got lost amidst the towering pine trees that appeared to reach out and embrace the skies. On reaching the village, we trekked through some desolate hills and forests and got drenched in a waterfall in the middle of nowhere and finally lunched near a beautiful river with just cows for company.
In the town, my husband and I cycled around the lake for almost an hour and went for long walks to unexplored parts of the town.
On the day of our return, we finally managed to glimpse the glorious sunrise from the resort. While standing on the wet and dewy lawn, cold and shivering, and staring at the changing hues in the sky before the Sun finally made its resplendent appearance, my faith in my Maker was strengthened. It was such a grand spectacle, which made me realize how insignificant I was before nature’s power. I bowed in reverence to the Sun. I suppose nature offers you rare, precious glimpses and teaches you certain lessons that no one or nothing else can.
The entire family had a whale of a time and here I am, back to my spirited self.

"You will find something far greater in the woods than you will find in books. Stones and trees will teach you that which you will never learn from masters." - St. Bernard

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Why?

There are days and times when i feel a despairing sense of failure. Times when i feel i am standing aside and watching the vibrancy of life pass by. I can feel its throb, its pulse...but i am unable to become a part of that vibrant momentum. Why?? Is it because i am letting the mundane trivialities of everyday routine stagnate my throbbing imagination? I don't know. I need to find out. Probably i am being selfish. Probably i just need to write more.